Saturday, June 2, 2012

Do I Take The Blue Pill, The Red Pill, Or The One That Says Pfizer?

!!! Aliens Evolved From Humans And Are Using Hit Men !!!
!!! What The !!!

Well, love'em or hate'em, the Wachowski Brothers (I guess I should lose the "brothers" part, seeing as how one of them is now a woman. Larry and Andy or Kerry and Candy, who knows!!) are very good at eliciting a passionate response from movie audiences worldwide. Personally, I like The Matrix Trilogy, but I felt like I only got two movies instead of three. That story seems unfinished to me. Sue me, I want more Matrix. I thought that Speed Racer was a faithful adaptation of the original cartoon (anime if you want to get technical) and certainly their most audience friendly movie yet. It had heart and great action set pieces along with a good story and great actors. If I had to compare it to anything it would be Star Wars: A New Hope. It just had that same overcoming a great empire with a small band of misfits vibe and you get the same feeling at the end win the rebels win ( Oh those pesky rebels). Again, I really liked it and it would be a perfect movie to see with your kids because it is very family friendly.

For the past four some odd years, the Wachowskis have either been hiding away somewhere contemplating life (or just what exactly did the end of Matrix: Revolutions mean?), or secretly devising a way to not only turn one of themselves into a woman, but somehow produce movies at the same time. All are lofty goals to be sure, but apparently that was not all they were up to. They have been working on a movie called "Cloud Atlas" (that is a post all to itself at a latter date) that will be released this year. Word came today of another project that the broth... sorry, the Wachowskis, have been working on for awhile. It's title currently is "Jupiter Assending". It has long been known that they would film the movie based on a script they wrote, but no other information was forthcoming. That is until know.

Vulture has a report that says Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis will star and they also give us a plot outline that you really have to read to get the full effect.

"Imagine a universe in which human beings are just the Cro-Magnons, or even the Australopithecines, of what beings can ultimately go on to become in the galaxy, these higher forms of life are watching us from other, albeit this time non-meta worlds, but actual, other worlds, as in planets and moons.”

"A recent Russian immigrant — played by actual Ukrainian immigrant Mila Kunis — who is busily scrubbing toilets for a living. Unbeknownst to her, she actually possesses the same perfect genetic makeup as the Queen of the Universe and is therefore a threat to her otherwise immortal rule."

"These evolved beings fall into various different groups, all of which share some human DNA but who have become evolved after being bred with animal DNA to heighten their best characteristics — e.g., soldiers getting their fearlessness, strength, and a pack mentality from wolves; workers getting their industriousness and reputation for diligence from bees."

"Pretty soon, a bounty hunter of the evolved-being type is dispatched to dispose of the Cleaning Lady with the Great Pair of Nucloetides, but, as you’d expect with a MATRIX re-dux, they fall in love... And for having fallen for his target, the bounty hunter — who we hear will be played by Channing Tatum — well, let’s just say that things get messy after that, because his employers take a-less-than-enlightened-being reaction to his decision to protect rather than kill her."

OK then!!!

It seems as if all that time contemplating life and the universe in the desert with Mr. Mojo Rising aka The Lizard King (in spirit form, of course) has done a number on this brother and sister duo's brains. It may be a great movie, I don't know yet, but if it takes me doing peyote and singing "Love Me Two Times" to understand the synopsis, will I have to get a doctorate in weird to get through the movie? I'm just asking so I can register for my classes now. Oh, and it's suppose to be a trilogy (Yipee)!!

Todd (thank you Morpheus, but I think I'll take Advil instead) B.

[Ain't It Cool News]

1 comment:

  1. My name is Josh Shaw of innerdorkdom.com and I approve of this article. Especially the last paragraph. Total hilarity.

    ReplyDelete